Call of the Goddess

I remember when the Goddess first called me to Ibiza.  She gave me a strong suggestion that I needed to change all of my plans and arrive here as something big was coming.  Something I had been praying for.  Although it seemed crazy at the time as I had a new mortgage, I literally quit my TV job, rented my apartment and started the ball rolling on what would be the greatest shift (and breakthrough) of my life… and how I come to be walking the path I walk today.  It was particularly sweet as she led me to my beloved husband who was also guided to this magnetic island having received his own transmission that he was needed here pronto.

In her many forms, the Goddess gives me the strength to bravely walk the path of my destiny (whatever that may be).  She is Source, Infinite Light, she is is Mother Father God / Goddess and she shows up in different forms when I needed support or a gentle reminder of the magic of this world.  She walks me through the dark times and dances with me in celebrate and joy.  Sometimes she is bold, vibrant, wild and totally in my face, shaking me to get my attention or she can be subtle, a simple suggestion and reminder that I am part of something much bigger than myself

Even though I sometimes block her communication I know she is always here.  These feelings of disconnection, of feeling exceptionally human and stuck in a dimension that feels heavy and challenging still happen to me.  The deeper I allow myself to go into the feeling of separation the more I find myself in a funk of feeling blocked.  I feel tense and frustrated and like I have blinkers on from seeing the bigger picture and the magic that is inside and all around me.  Unable to see the river of flow that is beckoning me to let go and dive in as I am too caught up in my stuff.  

I feel the sensations of not feeling good enough, and feel tired, broken and overwhelmed at the mammoth task we have on this planet right now.... looking around and feeling like everyone else is flying while I flounder for a while, wallowing in my shadow.  When I navigate this terrain of the underworld I feel it but I don't attach to it.  I am grateful to journey with eagle medicine and am reminded minute to minute to see the bigger picture which may not remove the need to be in the dark times but it does provide some perspective.

But then I breathe and plug myself deeply into the earth... the greta Mother Goddess Gaia.  I get quiet and open the channel of allowing.  And it is from here I call to her in my prayers.  Sometimes these are actual prayers for assistance, sometimes it is in my movement practice and, as I type, I am reminded that my connection with her is omnipresent (even though my human-self sometimes forgets this) and the line of communication is always open so there is almost no need to call as she is already here.... I am her and she is me.  

I must add that although mother hood is often too full for many of my usual alignment rituals I have to say that breastfeeding and singing my baby to sleep are sacred gifts as it is in these moments that I can step out of myself and feel the current of the Divine move through me.    

And she shows herself in any ways.

in visions ~ in whispers and tones ~ in synchronicities ~ in the animals that show up in my field ~ the things that catch my eye ~ the cards I pull from my deck ~ the feeling in my body. 

I experience her because I invite her in.  I allow her to move through me.  I embody her.  This is my path in this life... to remember this process and shine the light for others. 

I used to wonder if I was making it up and my imagination was running wild but she has assured me it is time to put those thoughts aside.  Even when I go on psychedelic astral adventures and it seems too incredulous to be real I ask myself how I am feeling and the answer is always expanded... filled with pure love, joy and light.  And it is the frequencies that show me the truth.    

If this is resonating with you please do not worry about your wild imagination as it really is your greatest guide in accessing the multiverse.  Take the red pill, hop on your magic carpet and enjoy the journey I say.  

If you feel to work with specific Goddess energies there are so many lineages and frequencies to access depending on your needs.  In my experience whoever I feel to call upon or place my awareness on will appear... right now that is Mary Magdalene, Inanna and Isis...and now I am back in Ibiza I am asking for the Goddess Tanit to come through.  When you dive deep into to the mystery streams and the different codes you will feel the similarities in the energies these goddesses bring forth.  These goddess are all manifestations of Shakti and they are here for us to embody in the here and the now.

She asked me to share this with you tonight... from the dark bedroom where my baby is quietly sleeping.  So if you are reading this right now it is for YOU.

 

    

 

 

 

 

Reflections on Motherhood

Wow... it's been so long since my last post.  

My life over these last 6 months as a Mother has been so full and huge.  I have felt so high and elated, bursting at the seams with love for my new star being (and beloved husband)… but have also felt challenged.  Torn by wanting to continue to ride the waves of creativity that flow through me but acknowledging that taking deep exhales of surrender is my path right now.  

I have felt jealous looking at my sisters birthing new work and getting involved in the festivals I have always loved.  They seem so free with space to do whatever they please just as I used to although, in hindsight I feel like I took all that time for granted...

but in the same breath have found an immense sense of relief and wholeness that I have embarked on a new path.  A path that I have always yearned for. 

Motherhood certainly feels a lot bigger than I could have ever imagined… but I am grateful… 

I am completely supported, both by my beloved, and Spirit.  I have no need to worry to create or generate abundance.  I have the luxury to completely relax into where I am now… and despite all of this I am hard on myself and I feel the maiden inside fighting and complaining as she throws tantrums and rages… 

“I want to do more retreats, I want to go dancing… I want to do my work...  oh but I really want to do that workshop… aaaaargh” 

I don’t want to be forgotten!

Fears of losing my identity and dissolving even further into my new role of Mother… merging with the sea of mothers who have come before me is terrifying… yet at the same time deeply empowering as I have come to know a sense of inner power, courage and strength that I never knew I possessed.

The mother journey walks us into the underworld asking us to surrender who we are in total service to another.  For most of us this is painful… even when we have desired it for so long.  Like the caterpillar dissolving to become a butterfly we too turn to mush.  A sleep deprived, worn out state.  Our bodies transformed (dare I say it “trashed”) beyond recognition in the process of pregnancy and birth and our world turned upside down...

...and yet we step up and selflessly serve like never before. 

I find myself wondering what it would be like to become a mother in a time when we are not so driven, perhaps having babies when we were younger and not so established in who we are and on our paths... if that makes sense.  Maybe the surrender would have felt easier then... I'm not sure.  

Perhaps this is not all of your experience… but I have to say this journey has been much bigger than I ever envisioned, especially for my beloved body.  It is not that I wanted to get my “pre-baby body” back as am comfortable with the extra padding that provides nourishment for my hungry babe but it is the deep transformation that has gone on within.  Physically I am altered, and I learned this the hard was when I excruciatingly inflamed a disc in my back after a gentle yoga practice (well maybe it was a little too dynamic for my post partum body).  It felt so good to move like me again… in fact this was my yearning after my wild birth. 

“I can’t wait to feel like me again”

I asked questions of fellow yogis and dancers… asking when can I practice again? 2 months… 6 months?  But now I acknowledge that, although the strength may come back, my body has been through such an initiation that I have evolved into a new way of being and perhaps the “me” I have known and loved is gone forever. 

Energetically this is felt so much.

If we talk in archetypes, ever since I became pregnant I felt myself stepping into my Queen.  I was honoured by everyone I met (as so many pregnant women are - and all should be)!  I felt myself expanded, more whole and so much more embodied than ever before. All of the archetypes rolled into one… the softness and nurturing of the mother, the strength and courage of the warrior, the sensuality of the lover and the mystical connection of the priestess walking between worlds and birthing new life through her womb.

My life has become so much more simplified as I slowly (and often begrudgingly) release my work.  Right now I have three international retreats, and my Sisters of the Moon virtual temple and the odd ritual practice and that is all.  I am missing my writing the most as rarely find the space as baby needs me all the time… so I am grateful for this 15 minutes while he sleeps to pen this note to you. 

I often feel as if I am letting myself down as I do not have the space for my daily meditation and yoga, the little rituals that make me feel good.  I do have time in the evenings but I am often so tired watching a film or netflix is more where I am at… and that is OK.

Now my simple practice is the deep intimacy I feel when I am breastfeeding my babe, gazing into his eyes and feeling myself merging with Spirit; the deep belly breaths I take as I plug myself into earth and stars and call myself back into alignment.  Sometimes I get frustrated that I am getting left behind spiritually as I am not doing my usual “work” and I look around and compare myself to others who seem to be advancing so very fast… 

but then I breathe and realise how activated I am in every moment.  Like this transition to mother has opened portals in myself that I previously had to work to access. 

A sister just wrote in my Priestess group that I am likely to be turning inwards for at least 5 years, specifically if we have another baby, and when I read these words I though - ARRRRRGGGH.  NO!  I cannot take it for this long. 

But day my day, breath by breath I know all is as it should be… as I am creating it this way.

I prayed to the Goddess for a deep dive of surrendering into the Great Mystery and this is certainly what I am on.  And even when I feel myself resisting with every cell I have full trust that wherever this wild ride is going is exactly what I need to experience.    

If you see me in the street wrangling my wrigley, giant baby you may see more of a hot mess with unwashed hair, dirty clothes and bags under my eyes but there is an energy... an new sense of grounding... a deeper connection to the Mother, to Gaia, to the cycles of birth and death of this life.  If you can shift your focus and see beyond the exterior I promise you will catch a glimpse of the the most radiant Queen you have ever seen.

She is in all of us... mothers or not... the initiations of this life remove the layers and remind us of her.  If you quieten now and plug into the womb of the earth you may hear her whisper to you.  Ask for her to show herself to you and help you rise in full embodiment of your divine grace in the here and now.

I see you and am here to support you sweet goddess... reach out anytime you need me.

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I am sending you masses of love from our little temporary home at the beach in Bali and am so excited to be off on our adventure for this year.  Totally open to inner guidance as we really do not know where we will end up.  There is always a loose plan and the odd teaching date to meet but the rest is up to Spirit. 

Love, SJ x

      

Solstice Portal Activation

Blessings for this sacred Solstice portal where the light is reaching new heights! We are truly riding the galactic wave and feeling the continued influx of photonic light hitting our cells with the intention of upgrade and activation.  Now is the time to open your channel and call it into your being to provide your with the full software and technology upgrade that it brings in full benevolence.

 At the bottom of the planet (where I currently reside) it is Summer Solstice and we are building to the climax of the fullness of life.  It feels a time for expansion and the world feels bright..  although on this 42 degree day in my hometown of Perth, Australia I have to say I feel a little dried out.  And in the land above, Winter Solstice is here calling for an inward gaze, a hug of oneself, deep listening in preparation for rebirth.

This portal also signifying the end of the 9 year cycle and all of the releasing and purging that has come with it.  It is also the end of a 36 year rite of passage and cycle of rapid remembrance we have been dancing (or perhaps stumbling through) since the December Solstice in 1980.  I find this particularly interesting as I am 36 so this dance has literally been going for my whole life in this body! I invite you to read more in this very interestng download here  but this 36 year cycle which takes place every 26,000 years is known as The Galactic Alignment Zone. Its purpose is rapid spiritual awakening and accelleration in all ways... and like any experience of being flooded with and plugged into intense frequency there will have been extreme highs and lows, ego deaths and ecstasy, pleasure and pain but as we come out the other side (well sort of) we can look back and check in with deep gratitude on how much we have changed!

In fact let's take a moment to do just that.  Tune into these last few years, lets's say from the Solstice portal in December 2012 and look at how much you and the Collective have changed.  Yes our world may be experiencing some chaos right now as always comes with time of change but I'm sure we can agree we have all come along way.  As one of my primary school teachers used to say "go ahead and give yourselves a pat on the back" or perhaps wrap you arms around you and give yourself a giant hug!  We may well be reaching this end point feeling totally frazzed but we can also trust in our hearts that all is as it should be.  We have done and continue to show up and do the big work and we should be proud of ourselves. ** this is probably inappropriate but my Guides just showed me a vision of putting feet up and cracking a cold beer (soooo Australian)... they are jokers and they constantly remind me to relax in this process and stay in the joy!

This coming year is the fertile soil in which we sow the seeds of the New Earth, lighting the way and illuminating any darkness of the old paradigm with our radiance.  Now is the time for birthing our reality as we wish it to be. 

But back to the here and now.  I had planned to record a Solstice Activation for you as usual but mama and family life has stepped in my path so, instead, here are some simple tips and suggestions of how to access the energies of this portal.  I mist give credit to one of my physical guides Sandra Walter for some extra inspiration.

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+ create a ceremony, of releasing the old that you are done with in this year, and sending gratitude to all that has come to pass

+ get your feet on the earth and out in nature

+ open your central channel and ask the light to move through you, to fill you, to light up your energy fields and activate every cell to its highest potential, to activate and mend your DNA.

+ Stay open to this light in every moment

+ ask to become the channel for Gaia, using your vessel as the conduit for the earth's own assimilation process so that she may also receive these upgrades in complete efficiency, connecting into the earth's grid system and flooding Gaia's energy line with light. 

+ purify yourself and stay hydrated by drinking activated pure spring water, bless the water and ask it to be returned to its divine blueprint.  In fact you can do this with everything!

+ bathe and cleanse in the waters of our planet (the shower works too if you cannot go for a swim)

+ quieten your mind and ask your Guides to speak clearly to you, open the line of communication and receive the wisdom that is within you

 + move these energies through your body with dance, yoga, shaking, whatever feels right in the moment.  Help your body vessel align with and integrate these energies.  

+ as you drop into your heart feel yourself connecting into the heart grid of the planet, as if each of us are plugging in heart to heart (womb to womb).

+ do ceremony and meditation in groups to amplify this process. 

+ call your multidimensional selves into your body now... In full EMBODIMENT of Spirit in the here and now

+ be in presence and align with the stillness of Source.  

And really... Do what feels right for you!

Things might get a little more bumpy in the days to come but know you are in the best service when you are grounded, in alignment with you divine nature, the bridge between earth and the stars.

I love you, blessed be xx