My journey back to the sacred feminine

Having just completed my most magical sacred feminine retreat yet I feel to share how I came to be working in this space with the divine goddess and creating women’s retreats cross the globe… honouring the energy of Shaktima and harmonising our sacred masculine and feminine.

For years I have known that I need to be on this path of helping people heal, working with energy, yoga, dance, holistic health with the assistance of the unseen… but I was not really clear on ‘who’ I should be helping specifically. When I used to think about this from a marketing perspective the phrase of ‘who is my target market?’ would always be ringing in my ears and, despite my attempts to try different niches, on nothing felt quite right.  All I could feel is that I should be working with people like me!

As an experiential learner who spends a lot less time reading and researching (in the head) and a lot more time tuning in, experiencing and feeling (in the body, heart and gut) I figured that I was best equipped to help those who were going through similar stuff as I have been/am going through… perhaps the ex-party girl who is trying to find her feet in a healthier world, the woman transitioning to a more spiritual life, the goddess yearning for a deeper sense of connection to something bigger than herself, anyone learning for deeper LOVE (both inside and out)…  the woman who doesn’t  feel she fits into her world anymore own world as she shifts energetically and needs help navigating the path.

And I allowed myself to be guided by the signs along the way and by those who reached out to me for help… as my clients always teach me so much about myself.  They always shine a mirror to my face to expose what I also need to be working on.

Even though I was on my way to Ibiza to host a Solstice Goddess Retreat I hadn’t quite realized the power of the work I was about to undertake (and that it would soon become my life).  I arrived to meet my beautiful and divinely feminine retreat partner Kirsty and I was carrying a lot of fear and apprehension.  I was ready to bare myself as I am and was worried about how I would be received (specifically by her retreat clients)… and I was jetlagged, and firmly in my masculine, busy Sydney persona!

Without going into too many details, that retreat was a huge learning curve for me!  I found myself constantly stuck in a space of comparison to Kirsty who was holding the space for these women so beautifully, nourishing them with juicy yin yoga and a safe space to let go and relax the contract of perfection of their daily lives.  Whereas I was having dramas with the chef over the food not being what I wanted, feeling of rejection by the guests as they didn’t seem to respond so well to my stronger style of vinyasa…. I felt vulnerable and shaky and I certainly shed more than a few secret tears during that pivotal week.

I was trying so hard, coming from my usual space of pushing and fighting …  of wanting everything to be perfect… and I really struggled with what I needed to do (not only on this retreat but in my life in general)… I needed to soften and surrender and allow it all to unfold.

And then, in the midst of all the struggling, I met Jules, our magical intuitive and oracle card reader and she was the anchor and guiding light I needed through this process.  I spent time with her and we had a powerful session where she explained something that came through for her… and I have been referencing it in all of my work ever since.

She explained to me about the journey into the yoke… and this is an analogy I use time and time again to explain the sacred feminine (I love it).  She told me that I had spent so long creating this hard outer shell from years of pushing, ‘man’-ing up to make it work in our patriarchal society and to feel safe… almost like I had formed a crystalline casing… and even when describing this state it’s like you have to grit your teeth and clench your fists, you are working that hard… This shell is like the last 2000 of patriarchy on our planet, where both women and men have had to fight and push to get ahead, to simply be OK, relying on the masculine energy and keeping the Shakti or sacred feminine locked away as perhaps we didn’t believe in her power (or maybe we were afraid of how powerful she truly is).

But in this time of shifting energy, the true dawning of the Age of Aquarius… the eggshell is crumbling and we are finding ourselves in the egg white.  Now, imagine a space where you were used to having walls, a floor, something to hold on to and then suddenly you where floating in jelly… nothing to grab onto to keep you “safe”… forcing you to truly let go… scary as fuck for those who feel most protected and safest in the egg shell.  This is a process I am in everyday… and I feel we all are as the rules are changing on our planet.  As we are flooded with new light frequencies, more powerful than we have ever know we are being forced to wake up from our slumber… Shakti (our scared feminine energy) is making her presence known and rocking our world.  We are beginning to remember our power, allowing ourselves to operate from a softer space of allowing and finding the sense of flow.

And this journey isn’t over yet … we are on our way into the yoke.  This is the space of the infinite… infinite co-creativity.  Of ultimate harmony and divine union of our scared masculine and feminine, our Shiva and Shakti.  I love to think of the masculine and feminine energies within each and every one of us like the ocean.  The masculine Shiva is the power of doing, of concentration, the power to direct our energy and attention to manifest our ideas, but it is the feminine Shakti that breathes in the life of creation.  Shiva is the ocean and Shakti is the wave… without the Shakti energy the Shiva power is redundant and they need to work together in harmony to move our world forward… to breathe the life in and CO-CREATE!

Really, this story of eggs and yokes is all about finding that cosmic dance within us… and that perhaps we must totally dissolve and trust in order to get there.  To allow the masculine to let go of the reigns for long enough for Shakti to prove her power (this is my 100% journey – TRUST TRUST TRUST).  The ability to work with the energy of Shiva to have the vision, the concentration, left brained organisation to be ready for the wave of creative Shakti to birth it into being.  When we are too Shiva (or too Shakti) we become out of balance… sometimes to the point of feeling it in our physical bodies.  I have experienced pain down the right side of my body for a long time and in many philosophies, the right side (and left brain) is linked to the masculine and vice versa for the feminine. This rang true for me as I had felt so stuck pushing and working so hard to make it happen all the time that my masculine was over utilized… and this is what it felt like in my body.  The right side was tight simply from over use and yearning to be given a rest.  There are many contradictions to this rule though as in Tibetan medicine the right side relates to the Sun and the female… but either way… experiencing more pain and tension on one side would lead me to believe there is some sort of imbalance occurring.

And even on my last Goddess Retreat in Goa, after 7 days of being a super Shakti, creating new yoga classes and stories everyday and literally feeling like I could not create any more (which is silly because Shakti creative juice is infinite) I was ready to be back on the computer for some logistics (booking flights and making budgets), because my Shiva felt under utilized.  As you can see it is all about the balance!!

Having come almost 9 months since this total A-HA revelation I have come so far on my journey.  Ever since opening myself to this work 90% of my clients come to me with these out of balance issues, even before I started talking so much about it in social media etc.  I have been given so many signs that I am on the right path and am feeling so much more balanced in myself.  I am learning to nurture both sides of myself and use the energies efficiently.  I am feeling decidedly less schizophrenic and more united inside and with the greater energetic field.

You will see the insurgence of sacred feminine talk online (and feel the vibes)… and I want to ensure you that this is not new work at all.  Women have held space for each other for centuries, and although we lost our connection with these ancient rituals through our patriarchal world for a while they are well and truly back!  Birthed out of hiding by the rise of Shakti!!  And even all the Shakti talk does not mean the masculine is any less important, it is simply that the Shakti has been over looked for so long we have to honour her a little more and re-learn how to work with her power…. To trust her wisdom.

I am so in love with bringing this work to the world and love nothing more than holding space for women to blossom and let go on my retreats.  My Goa Goddess Retreat was my juiciest yet and I am feeling so in my power… and completed inspired by all of the powerful women I am attracting.  I bow down to Shaktima as she certainly is showering me with gifts!

Feel like you would like to know more about this work?  Book in for a one on one session with me!

Or join one of my retreats in these magical places!

Sri Lanka Surf Yoga Bliss  - April 26 to May 2

Bali Raw Yoga Bliss – May 24 to 29

Ibiza Solstice Goddess Retreat – June 15 to 21

Sedona Shiva Shakti Activation – September (dates coming soon)

Mexico Wild Goddess Retreat – October 1 to 7