As we reach the end of the year I’m getting a little reflective on the year that was. The good bits, the challenging bits… the times I felt amazing and the times I wanted to hide away in my bed and make it all go away.
Despite feeling like I left my 9 to 5 way back in 2012 when I answered the call of my heart and took a leap (aided by a not so fun at the time push from the Universe in the disguise of a shafting my my job – I must say it sucked at the time but I have never been more grateful as this move changed my life for the better)… I officially left in February 2014 after being given the gift of a 12 month contract at Warner Bros. TV which came by way of a surprise email that I received on the same night I met the love of my life in Ibiza (as you do). I remember receiving the email offering the Marketing Director contract and immediately felt – NO WAY am I going back to TV land – I’m staying in Ibiza following my dreams! But then a gentle persuasion from my new love who announced he would 100% love to come back to Australia with me sealed the deal… and, honestly, if I hadn’t have been open to receiving the gift of that contract, I’m not sure I would be doing what I’m doing right now… More on that later.
So my first (almost) full year of self employment has gone like this… mad swings from incredible creativity, feeling completely in the flow and able to manifest whatever my heart desires to complete FEAR, freak out mode and suffering… all of this coupled with experiments of full time yoga teaching which saw me race all over Sydney teaching 20+ classes a week and leaving me an exhausted and under nourished little yogi.
In summary… I have learnt A LOT. I have learnt so much about myself, about what I need to do to stay open, about how easily I fall into fear and self doubt when I lose sight of my overarching mission and get too caught up in the details and the pushing to make it all work. I have learnt about my imbalances and have been on a huge journey of surrendering and softening into my under utilised sacred feminine.
I have learnt that I still have a long way to go in realising my magical gifts. Despite starting the year feeling pretty powerful I’m finishing on a whole other level and feel like this is only the tip of the iceberg… so long as I trust and believe and operate from a space of ALLOWING and opening … anything is possible.
As an imperfectly perfect beam of light shaving a human experience, and openly sharing along the way I want share some nuggets that I have learnt along my process of leaving the 9 to 5 (and the $$$) to help you on your own journey (so you can sail through or even avoid the road blocks and bumpy bits)…
Lessons on 2014:
I have learnt to let go of the contraction of perfection… to release the pressure I am forever placing on myself and feel good about what I have already achieved. To truly enjoy the present moment and feeling that I am enough where I am right now.
I have learnt that staying connected to my higher mission is EVERYTHING… I have been observing this a lot this year. When I shift my focus to how much money I am making (particularly after visits to my accountant) and not the amazing work I am actually doing, I block my flow. However, when I stay in my heart and continue to bring love, light and healing to the world the abundance rolls on in. Now, I’m not saying money is dirty because it is necessary energy and a big part of our world and YES, you deserve to make as much as your heart desires… but maybe it should not be your sole mission? It certainly doesn’t feel like it should be mine, especially as we enter into this new energetic paradigm.
I have learnt to enjoy the whole journey (not just the destination)… The organisation of my retreats is often all consuming and I have found myself forgetting to stop and enjoy the life I’m creating here. It all becomes like HARD WORK… so I’ve actively forced myself to stop and appreciate it all… and try to do this in every single moment.
I have learnt to keep it bitesized … Often the creativity gets the better of me and I want to do it all NOW NOW NOW, but as anyone who has been completely burnt out knows, this is generally not achievable, even for super powered yoga goddesses. This comes back to the idea of relaxing the contraction of perfection and softening into the feminine energy. Rather than always feeling like we need to do more to be ok, I have begun to wake up to the fact that this life is for enjoying… and that means time to relax, to be with family, friends, in nature… and have fun!!
I have learnt that financial security helps (a lot)… this is what the 12 months at Warner Bros. gave me. All those hours of sitting in the office, despite feeling disconnected from what I was working on, were actually perfect as they provided me with the financial nest egg to go forth and take the risks required to build the life of my dreams. So if you are considering a big change, it is nice to have some cushioning to soften your fall (just in case). Having said that when I first left TV-land and headed over seas I had just bought my first property and only had $3K in the bank. I remember Mum was freaking out and wondering how I would land on my feet… but that’s the thing about operating from the heart… you really can’t go wrong. I intuitively knew I had to go to Ibiza (although consciously I was not sure why) and then I met my twin flame and husband to be, the Warner Bros, job was offered to me on a platter and all made sense in the world!!
I have learnt that my fears and insecurities have the ability to completely derail me if I give them too much energy… You know that feeling when you start the downward spiral or comparison-itis and feeling you are not enough? Or maybe the freaking out that your products, courses or retreats are not selling or the clients are not rolling in? This is an ongoing dance for me between feeling in the FLOW and feeling in the FEAR. If you start to give this stuff your energy… guess what happens? The fears get BIGGER and they are HUNGRY!! To break this flow I take myself out of my work for a while, meditate on removing blocks around money and abundance and even do some releasing techniques and feel out where this energy is coming from. I come back to my higher mission and the energy of heart… Let me know if you have any questions about this or book in for a Skype with me!
I have learnt to make time for myself… This land of self employment is 24/7 and as I simply love it so much sometimes it is hard to switch off. So I have to MAKE TIME to do so… to make the time to switch off and ALLOW all I have created to integrate into my field (rather than forever desperately seeking more more MORE!).
I have learnt to ask for help… As a girl who has been determined to do it all on her own from a young age, this year has forced me out of that behaviour. I have learnt to let go of control and ask for support – in fact I do every single day as part of my morning meditation. My support posse (both physical and etheric/angelic) are my lifeline and are like my trusty team of employees. They are there patiently waiting for my call all I need to do is delegate (although sometimes this is hard for me) … and TRUST TRUST TRUST.
I have learnt to be grateful… Every time I get in a funk I turn on the gratitude and feel it all instantly transmute – TRY it!
I have learnt to SURRENDER… This has been HUGE for me in 2014. This year as seen me truly feel part of a much bigger energetic system. I’ve always known it in my heart but now it is all the more real. I have learnt from my great team of guides and energetic teachers that I am not doing this on my own… I have learnt to jump in the divine river and go with the flow. After years of upstream swimming and feeling stuck in my masculine energy of pushing and fighting hard this has been the biggest relief of my life and has really helped me step into my power as a healer, as a sensual goddess and a channel for the light.
Taking that massive leap was the best and most courageous thing I have ever done to date but I won’t lie to you… I am working harder than ever before… but I wouldn’t change a thing!
If you are feeling like making a change in 2015 and want some support please reach out – I am here for you! Book in for a FREE skype session with me.
Or, come and take some space for yourself on one of my magical retreats in GOA, SRI LANKA, BALI, IBIZA and MEXICO!
Big LOVE my darlings… may you realise your gifts and your magic and truly step into your radiance in 2015!