Warning in advance this message might be a bit garbled as I have had little sleep for the last few nights as it seems that clever baby prep mechanism that wakes you up on the hour in your third trimester has kicked in. Lucky me!
But here goes...
Are you able to receive?
This has been coming up for me so much on my journey of softening into my feminine and even more on the wild ride to mama-hood and I realise how much I struggle with opening myself to other people's care, love and support... and this includes that of my energetic team or "the Universe" as you may prefer to refer to this collective of energy.
You see... as women we are caregivers and lovers. Many of us are hard wired this way so much so that putting ourselves first seems criminal and impossible. We feel selfish when we put our needs first and I want to take a moment to clear this up.
In no way is a SELF FIRST selfish. Got it...??
That was a bit of a segway but I feel like it needs to be reiterated as much as possible as I see so many sisters in my field getting sick as they put themselves last. Fill your cup, honour your own space and energy and everyone will get an even better version of you. It's a win win!
Now back to receiving...
How many of you find it hard to ask for or accept help (or even receive compliments - tune into that for a moment)? Perhaps feeling that it is a sense of weakness to not be able to be in your power as a woman and do it on your own? Or maybe there is some funky self worth stuff in the depths of your being?
Personally, I shoulder the burden as a protection / control mechanism - something I have been doing since I was very small to be OK. The more I can feel empowered and self sufficient in my own field, the more I feel safe and secure, but through this process I have made my life way more exhausting and have shut many people out who want to get close to me. AND I've emasculated some men in my life by being too full power.
But I want to remind you sisters that it is STRONG TO BE SERVED by the men and women in your life. There is no weakness is putting up your hand for help, in calling in the team and surrendering when you are feeling overwhelmed. In fact you can think of it as your own personal service to the collective as people get a really good feeling when they are able to help you (especially the men in our lives as it allows them to feel like men!)
As I become more and more pregnant I have had to acknowledge that I am not going to be able to do it all on my own (and in fact I really don't want to). I had an opportunity to bring a baby int the world on my own in 2012 (another big story for another time) but made a very hard decision that it was not right mainly because I could not imagine having the strength to navigate the process of parenthood solo. It was simply too big a task even for me and I am glad I took this road as it meant I ended up in Ibiza meeting my husband later that year. I seriously take my hat off to all of the mamas and dads who do it so beautifully but this was not the path for me.
I've had to acknowledge I am going to need to let go of control of my home and how it looks, and to allow my husband to help me more (with no judgement of his methods or abilities) AND I've realised I am going to need to accept financial support which feels especially strange for me. My husband and I have always shared the load of our cost of living but as I wind down my work (and my income dwindles) I am having to face the uncomfortable feelings of needing to be looked after and even taking a huge bank account exhale as the outgoings far outweigh the incoming right now (gulp - scary in expensive Sydney but I know this is part of the surrendering medicine I need).
It was a big step for me to see an osteo in this pregancy as I usually take charge of my own healing and have found myself finally dabbling in essential oils, mainly to form a bigger practice of giving back to my body and activating my abilities to receive love and nourishment. Calling in massages from my husband and luxurious baths and finding new ways to give back to myself other than my usual spiritual / movement practices which are my normal means of honouring. Small steps but it is working and I feel myself softening and opening more and more each day.
Here is another way to look at it that might help...
You know that feeling you get when you do a good deed for someone, you gift someone something with no expectation of anything in return? That feeling of giving lights us up and drops us nicely back into an experience of life in the flow? You can see receiving in another way... perhaps as you are receiving you are in fact giving someone else the opportunity to feel fulfilled. Try that on for size...
And on the topic of flow, how can we truly be riding the waves of contraction and expansion that are ever present in our Universe if we are stuck on one setting? Life is a dance of inhale and exhale. Of giving and receiving. And the more we can fall into the cosmic dance the more ease and grace we call in.
I like to do this dance with the energy of money (although I would be lying if I said it doesn't freak me out a bit) and even more so in my business right now where I feel to offer so much more for free because I feel as if the paradigm of money is changing on our planet. The more we can gift and let go without feeling the fear of needing something back or feeling the tension in our body of holding on, the more we welcome in a greater flow back to us.
I know this post has suddenly taken a turn to the money paradigm (which I am going to write more on later) but they are all linked. Can you feel it?
The more we are able to take an eagle eye view of life, and remember that we are not here doign it all on our own. To let down our armour and invite in the juicy flow of the Universe that can show up in so many ways. To give when we feel to give... and open ourselves to receive all the goodness that is always flowing towards us without needing to put up the barriers that we create to feel safe and "powerful". I promise you life becomes a whole lot easier...
Take a deep breath and say this with me...
"I am open to receive"
"I give my energy freely and without condition or expectation"
"I welcome all the magic and abundance that is coming to me"
"I surrender control to my higher self"
"My heart is an open channel of giving and receiving love"
Try this every day and tell me what happens...
Love you xx