ecstatic birth

On birthing a baby

Some women will tell me I’m crazy… but I can only do what I feel.

I am going into my baby birthing with almost no reading or research
I have not done a course
I have not learnt the breathing techniques
I have not read the books

But what I have done is taken a lot of space to listen to my body and to commune with my baby
to feel into the process, tuning into the collective energy of my ancestral lineage of women
of birth supporters, life givers and creatrixes

The more I can be present to the messages I am receiving
To quiet my conscious mind and allow myself to embody the experience the easier this process will be

when I give my power away to the wisdom and information from others I pull myself into the land of logic and reason
a linear space … where magic and fludity find it hard to live
My brain works over time to create a story about what my experience will be

Now is not the time for stories and attachments to how I want things to be
Now is the time for getting out of the way 

On a deeper level than ever before

This getting out of the way to allow Spirit to speak, move and dance through me has been my greatest learning in this life
I’ve done the studies only to throw them out for a purer wisdom
receptive to the moment
receptive to the energy
this is the only way I can fly in this world
energy is who we are 

you may ask have I visualised the process?
No - not really... all I feel is deep anchoring into the earth and the stars all at the same time
a bearing down of the most incredible energy

This is less visioning than a premonition
I know if I vision too hard I take away the element of mystery that I have asked for this experience to be

Giving birth is world bridging
Giving birth is being a portal for spirit 

No books will prepare me for the initiation I will receive
Maybe it will be ecstatic
Maybe it will be so intense that I shudder at the memory
Maybe I will get fucked by God
from the inside

May I will regret not doing much research… or birthing bootcamp like we are cramming for some sort of exam our bodies already know the answers to 

This experience will be whatever it needs to be
what I need it to be
what my baby needs it to be
what we signed up for
for our learning 

In saying all this I am setting a clear intention in this birthing
of activation of myself as a channel for rainbow light
for the greatest surrender I have been yearning for
for grounding and the primal strength of the whole Universe combined

I’m calling in all your backing and support
and feeling oh so grateful to be a woman… to be a mama… birthing a new life… birthing a new earth