I am and have always been a chameleon, wearing different hats and different masks to suit each situation. Being adaptable and knowing how to behave to fit in. I guess this is my story (as it is many of ours)… to play a role in order to be loved and be accepted.
Because, at our core, this is how we all want to be… totally and utterly loved and accepted.
I have also lived so many different lives in my 35 years. The wild party girl, the TV Marketing & PR maven, the dancer, the adventurer, the gypsy, the yogi, the juicy dakini goddess on a quest to remember who she truly is.
A boyfriend once said to me – You need to work out who the hell you are! and to some extent he was right, the flipping and changing was exhausting for all of us. The getting caught up in all of the stories created around who I thought I should be were clouding the truth of who I am.
And as there was so much self loathing tied up in each version of self it was making me sick.
So off I went with a mission to boil myself down to one version of myself. Now I just had to choose which one!
Am I the serious seeker, the spiritualist, or the wild party girl who likes to dance all night…?
The deeper I got into my work (of yoga & spiritual practices), I began to unravel the old hurts and catch a glimpse of my essence behind the stories.
Then one day the penny dropped and I realised that I am ALL OF THESE WOMEN. The product of many lives and experiences all wrapped up in a kind of schizophrenic family of different energies.
And that each of these facets are equally worthy and necessary parts of myself… all part of the same field of magical energy… and that all of these aspects deserve to be seen, to be witnesses, to be loved, learned from and totally nourished… because they all ME (not the human me but the multidimensional soul that I AM).
One day I will write a book about my many lives I’ve lived in this one… Some of the stories will blow your socks off…
Until then I make this part of my practice…
To unify my aspects, to embrace my archetypes, to feel them when they want to be seen…
To allow them space to rise.
I embrace all aspects of myself…
I AM & LOVE the spiritual woman who loves to dance and get deep with her tribe in Bali seeking truth & awakening her magic
I AM & LOVE the decadent woman who likes the finer things like luxuriating on yachts, sipping champagne, buying beautiful clothes, getting my hair done and eating fresh fish & paella in restaurants by the sea
I AM & LOVE the creative woman who loves her space to write, draw and create
I AM & LOVE the focussed & serious woman who is driven & committed to her practice & daily ritual… To creating a business… Dedicating herself to the path of remembrance and service
I AM & LOVE the wild woman who loves top hats and tutus, parties, wildness and fun… Who dances all night at Burning Man and praises the rising sun through false eyelashes and glitter
I AM & LOVE the passionate woman in touch with her sexual power, awakened in her sensuality.
I AM & LOVE the mother woman, always ready to care and love… The caring wife preparing for this next stage of motherhood. Deeply connected to the call of her womb.
I AM & LOVE the courageous woman who stares in the face of fear and says… YES… I’m going to do it anyway
I AM all of these women… Each aspect is a part of me.
Am I can honestly say I love them all… and it feels so good!