You know those times in your life when nothing is going right and and you just can't get your sh*t together? Well I am living in this zone right now.
I was actually planning to put off writing to you until I have the brand new Energy Forecast I promised ready to send and am more grounded, but I have concluded that may not happen for a while as I am feeling raw, messy and less than on top of it all. Even a little (heaven forbid) out of control!
This moment has called for a MASSIVE SURRENDER on my behalf.
This time last week I was on my way back from India on a 36 hour journey of rickshaws, trains, taxis and planes which was not so bad as I knew it was leading me back to my very own apartment (the one I have been estranged from for 14 months) and the amazing fresh food that Sydney has to offer (as I was feeling mildly malnourished after ODing on wheat, sweets and fried things). My computer was dead (again) and had been for 2 weeks and my storage box filled with the relics of my last 10 years in Sydney was due to arrive (ugh - cue music of doom) ... and I found myself behind in my work, surrounded by boxes and old memories and totally OVERWHELMED!
As per usual I had put undue pressure on myself to hit the ground running upon landing in Sydney and dive into running a webinar, getting my launch for my Sacred Sisterhood program back on track and working on my event series but I found myself unable to sit down at the (replacement) computer and focus for long enough to answer an email (gulp).
I even had to cancel my Divine Feminine Webinar at short notice because the day had really not gone my way - thank you for understanding and holding space for me.
You see life is like this sometimes...
And we know we are meant to look for the gifts in every moment because they provide the medicine for our learning and growth (#truth) but sometimes all you want to do is punch the moment in the face... and kick, cry and scream "F#$k EVERYTHING"?!
You see my dears... I have a special personal project I am working on right now. Some could say incubating and it seems to be taking all of my energy. It seems to have removed my ability to multitask and has forced me to slow right down. I have found myself wanting to close off from the outside world and wrap myself in cotton wool and just be quiet... and for the first time in my life I've had no choice but to listen.
Surrendering to the flow (or the ebb as the case may be) is an art form in our modern lives that seem to make us hardwired to PUSH ON and DO MORE even when our bodies are asking us to stop. Life is a constant dance of inhale & exhale, contraction and expansion so it unrealistic for us to always be on running 100% creativity and fire, yet many of us beat ourselves up when we have the down days of feeling messy and useless and unable to achieve anything. I remember some wise words from Danielle Laporte about riding the waves of ebb and flow. She said, when you find yourself in a ebb (or a slow phase) when creativity dires up and the phone doesn't ring ENJOY IT! Book a holiday, read a book... CHILL OUT... because behind every ebb come and tsunami of FLOW.
Get it... ??
So I am offering you an exercise to try... to help us surrender in divine acceptance of the here and now and help us release our resistance to just BE-ing.
Get quiet and close your eyes
Breathe deep into your belly
Place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart
Feel yourself plugging into the heart (or womb) of the earth... all the way at the centre so you are fully anchored
Feel yourself drawing the energy up through your base chakra and notice as it begins to rise any areas of stuckness or resistance that you can feel
and with this resistance begin to identify where it is coming from / what thoughts go along with it or where you feel it in your body
Perhaps this is resistance and pain at things that are not going "right" for you in this moment ... allow whatever it is to come
and now we transmute this feeling with the word YES
Breathing in a healing energy and exhaling the word YES (you can say it out loud)... and keep saying it until you feel your energy shift and your heart open.
When we move into the space of saying YES to right now... YES to the present moment we drop the tension, the fighting and we drop into the space of ALLOWING.
I hope this helps...
(and more information on my "personal project" coming soon ... but I'm sure many of you can guess)